Gentleness

Gentle (dictionary.com)

kindly; amiable: a gentle manner. Not severe, rough, or violent; mild: a gentle wind

This Fruit of the Spirit was a difficult one for me!  I studied, read and meditated on gentleness.  Some versions of the Bible call this fruit 'kindness'.  One commentary I read referred to this fruit as being merciful.  I would say I agree to both, but to me, gentleness runs deeper.

I love being gentle.  Smoothing my daughter's hair when we cuddle is gentle.  Having a soft, calm voice and a smile when things are going wrong is gentleness.  In my line of work, gentleness is meeting a sweet elderly lady in a hospital bed with a hug and reassurance that she doesn't have to face her fears alone.  There is a sort of elation when I am able to bless others with a gentle word, touch or presence.

Now, getting back to reality...I don't know how many times I've acted harsh or uncaring when a calm, compassionate spirit would have made all the difference. 

I have always been sort of reserved, and used to easily slip on a gentle disguise in the right company. When 'the end' came, I was anything but gentle to those I was closest to, which brings me to the reason I still grapple with it.  My own human circumstances, not my relationship with Christ, dictated my actions.  I forced gentleness for years in the past, and all the harshness inside just kept brewing.  Gentleness isn't gentle when it's forced! 

I know now that I was trying to cultivate fake, plastic fruit because I stopped abiding in The Vine.  Fake fruit isn't real.  It can look real  pretty on a table, and don't those rubbery grapes look good enough to eat?  Real fruit is something that is sweet and pleasant, but will not last forever.  To me, each piece of fruit is a gift we can give to others, but we must continue abiding in Christ to replenish the supply.

Lately, gentleness can be hard to come by.  I struggle with having had to sit in the same living room day after day for over a month.  I am still determined  to get out of the house occasionally for an hour or two to show my face at work, but I feel conspicuous, ugly and pathetic trying to cross the threshold, dragging my feet behind my walker.  I am so thankful to be able to work from home, but I can't shake the 'out of sight, out of mind' fear if I don't get one of the kids to bring me to the office regularly.  Needless to say, when my fears are in control, I'm not trusting the Lord and experiencing the peace that passes all understanding.  Gentleness can easily be replaced with snapping at my kids, harboring bitterness, talking about people in an unkind way when they're not around, and having a selfish, judgmental attitude.  How quickly the flesh takes over when I am overwhelmed and begin chewing on the fake, plastic fruit.  It looks real pretty, but doesn't do anything more than cause a stomach ache!


I have had to learn that gentleness, kindness and mercy are not deeds that can be conjured up or added up in a daily quota to make my faith 'feel real'.  This fruit must come from a spring of compassion, love and empathy that is cultivated deep within.  Gentleness, with all it entails must be genuine.  The only way to offer anyone a taste of this fruit at just the right moment is to allow the Husbandman to tend the orchard.  


The blessing of blessing others with gentleness is a gift from God to them, through us.  In return, we receive the joy of obedience and walking in the Spirit.  At the end of a long day, my pillow feels that much softer and welcoming when I have tread softly, reached out with a smile and spoken peace to others.

I just keep coming back to trust.  Trusting in the Lord in all circumstances.  If He tells me to be kind, merciful and gentle in His Word, He will also join with me to help me to accomplish His will.  Jesus is the example of gentleness.  He asks me to follow Him and assures me that His burden is light:

Matthew 11:28-30

 ²⁸Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest ²⁹Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.³⁰For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

In my own strength, I make it so hard!  I struggle to be real, but only Jesus can take a harsh spirit within and transform me to have an aching hurt for others who are struggling themselves.  I begin to see opportunities for reaching out to my kids, friends and acquaintances with the genuine kindness, mercy and gentleness that will calm the frenzy and refresh their souls.  Imagine a world where gentleness flowed abundantly from person to person!


Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness...can we really learn of one in the absence of the others?