The One Thing I Want My Kids To Know

In the previous post, I painstakingly (miraculously) found a way to post a song that I used to listen to in the early '90's.  Will you listen to it, even if I tell you it was sung by Debby Boone?  Truthfully, I loved listening to this tape which somehow landed in my possession when my kids were little.

I have been praying about what the Lord would want me to write in this blog next.  My heart has been swimming with thoughts I want to tell each of my children, so without telling any family secrets, or embarrassing my kids (ok, well not embarrassing them much), I would like to take the next few posts to write to my children individually.

If there is one central theme to my heart's cry for my children, it would be summed up in the following song:

Above All Else

Debby Boone

So much to say and just a lifetime left to say it.
How quickly time passes.
If I had my way, I'd keep you safe within my arms
While the storm of life crashes.

I won't always be with you, my child,
But words I can give.
When the winds of hope are dying down,
These words will live.

Above all else, know God's the One who'll never leave you.
Look to Him above all else.
He is love you can depend upon, a heart set to care.
If in the darkest night you should be lost, He will be there.

I won't always be with you, my child,
But words I can give.
When the winds of hope are dying down,
These words will live.

Above all else, know God is good and you can trust Him.
Look to Him above all else.

He’s the Everlasting Father,
In His hands you’ll never fall.
He’s the One who holds it all,
Above all else.

He’s the Author of your laughter,
He’s the Keeper of your tears,
He’s the One who you must fear
Above all else.

He’s the Giver of the kingdom
Bought for you right from the start,
And He’ll ask you for your heart
Above all else.

So much to say
And not enough time left to say it.
Just love the Lord
Above all else.

Please be patient with the "play" button in the next post.  If you click on it, and wait a little while, the song will play.  And remember - I cherish your comments!

Dear Heavenly Father,

I want to share my heart in a way that honors You.  You know that.  Please help me to express what You want me to in the next few posts.  Please cause Your love to strengthen my children, and others, by giving me just the right words to write!  I thank You for your boundless love!  In Jesus' Name

For My Children - Above All Else

It's Been a Year

Every morning I wake up and listen to music as I get ready for work.  Lately, I listen to the Easter's "Going Away Party" on a CD that one of my close friends gave me a few months ago.  Without fail, I think of my "little Gram", and how completely she loved the Lord.

Yesterday marked a year since Gram passed on to heaven.  I still remember the morning I woke up, didn't hear her stirring in her room, so I puttered around in the kitchen making her breakfast with bran cereal, yogurt and bananas.  I took out the notebook I wrote in everyday to mark her sleep/awake times, and also meals and anything else pertinent to the day.  This notebook was a little tattered.  I had been writing in it for a few months.  After I finished making her breakfast, I opened the notebook, entered her breakfast menu, then jotted "awake at 8 am", after a quick glance at the clock.  I hurried into her room to pull up the shades and help her welcome a new day.  I realized that she was no longer with us as soon as I opened the door and called her name.  I thought to phone her family across the street, but didn't tell her daughter-in-law what I already knew.  It just didn't seem right over the phone.  As soon as I heard the downstairs door open, I met Naida at the door and shook my head.  The rest of the morning was a blur, as was the weekend.  I was grieving, yet, so thankful that Gram was with her Savior.  I missed her - I saw her everywhere, and that first night without her was so quiet and surreal (as many nights have been since, when memories of her sweetly occupy my mind). I had a 16th birthday "party" to throw for my son, between the day she left us and the day of her funeral.  My son, Michael, needed to know that he was not forgotten through it all.

The morning of the funeral, I took care of getting the family ready and made the drive to the funeral.  We arrived early for the wake.  As I walked through the door, Naida, who had been the first person to stand with me in Gram's bedroom, walked toward me and said, "Elizabeth - look at her!"  My feet somehow carried me to where Gram lay, and my heart sent a crashing wave through my body.  Tears streaming down, I could only stare at the form in front of me.  Lovely, peaceful, radiant and joyous can not even describe what I saw. Gram looked younger and brighter.  Many of us marvelled that we had never seen anything like it.  I thanked God for giving me one last look at "Gram", in such a state of beauty.  It's true, she was lovely, yet she was no longer "there".  Gram was transported to Glory, and had no more need of her earthly shell.  Somehow, the amazing radiance we viewed then was for us, and us alone.  Gram was "home".

The year since she passed has been a whirlwind, yet I still "see" her little form, stooped just a bit, guiding her walker around the corner to greet me in the living room.  I stand at the stove, and remember being a young girl, watching Gram heat up leftovers in the old frying pan.  I pull out her paring knife to peel an apple, smiling inside when my little one asks for the "peels", as I used to ask Gram.

I remember Gram often talking about all the girls at the Boylston Home whenever anyone asked if she stayed in touch with any of them as adults.  She rarely, if ever, mentioned me.  One day, licking my wounds, I asked her why she never introduced me as a girl from "The Home", when questioned.  Gram's eyes opened wide as she looked at me and said, "I didn't think of it.  You're not a girl from The Home - you're "my" girl!"

I hope you will listen to the song in the following post.  Gram was a dear wife, sister, mother, grandmother, friend and foster mother.  But when it came to Jesus, she was, and still is, "His" girl!

Gaither Homecoming - Goin' Away Party - Feat. Jeff and Sherri Easter

Perspective

I received a comment from a faithful reader yesterday, urging me to keep writing, to keep encouraging others with the love of the Lord. I have meant to write much more often than I have, yet my life has swooped me up and carried me off in a thousand different directions in the past few months. My Christmas tree still stands in the living room due to my rushed schedule. I logged over one hundred hours working last week. The kids have school and sports, and had (what seemed like) a super-long holiday vacation, throwing everything off-kilter. These are my excuses,anyway. I still worship, I still pray, I take five minutes every weekday morning to share a verse or thought with my sisters in Christ, yet the deep-down, soul drenching peace I one possessed is as elusive as a pleasant scent on a breezy day.

In a rare "brain break" at work today, I realized that what's changed is my perspective. Nothing has been really wrong, yet nothing has been really right, either. I still have the same old struggles which come from being a single mother, and all that entails. I have some tremendous blessings, which I am continuously grateful for, as well. I do have a considerable amount of daily stress, but I realize I'm not putting it all into perspective. I looked up the definition of the word. One entry states: "The faculty of seeing all the relevant data in a meaningful relationship."

I heard once that people aren't going to want anything to do with my "Jesus" if my life is marked with the same anxiety and frustrations as everyone else. Why should the world care that I have a relationship with the Creator of the world, if it makes no difference in the way I react to my problems? It would be the same as dying of thirst from a drought with the rest of my community when I have a well in my possession which produces unlimited water. Common sense says that I would not only drink, but offer anyone and everyone around me the water they crave - and they would want the water, because they would see how it revived me! How sad that we so often choose to suffer because we don't drink from the well that Christ makes available to us every moment of every day. Equally sad is the fact that thirsty people around us know we have a "well" in our possession, yet they observe us choosing to deal with our own thirst the same way they do - neglecting the source that can refresh and hydrate our souls.

It explains the lack of peace in my own life. I sent a verse from Isaiah to my friends this morning: "Thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee." I didn't have peace today because my mind was not fixed on Jesus. I know it, and I wrestle with God sometimes, asking Him how I could possibly keep my mind on Him when I'm faced with encounters with angry people, angry kids, broken promises, urgent needs - and the list goes on. My own limitations are tested, and I find that I can't focus on anything after a while.

The Lord answered me today, through scripture, as He often does. I was reminded of the following passage, which was quoted word for word by my foster father, "Grampy" (in the KJV at the time) in the final moments of the final message I ever heard him preach in the early '90's. Grampy's memory began to fail him near the end of his life, yet there was a time when he still remembered scripture, and could still pray to the Lord.

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Phil 4:4-9)NIV

As I prepared to argue with God about how impossible it would be to have peace when dealing with a very difficult person, He reminded me to think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable. If I'm stressing about having too much on my plate, I can find perspective and focus on the promise of Jesus to never leave me. That thought alone is noble, right, pure, etc. There is not one situation I can ever encounter which has the power to rob me of my peace - I may not be able to control my outward circumstances, but with God's help, I can control my focus. He can take my frustrations, stress, disappointments and anger, and flood my soul with pure and noble thoughts. There's another verse that fits perfectly with this passage: As a man thinks within himself, so is he (Prov. 23:7a)

I want to be the woman who keeps everything in perspective. That perspective begins in my hidden thoughts. Having perspective doesn't mean that I wait until life gets easier to be happy or peaceful. It means that I see the "big picture", and I choose to dwell on those things that God says says will bring peace.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I come to you again, as your headstrong adopted daughter, and I thank You for being more patient than any earthly father could ever be! I know you've taught me these lessons over and over, yet I read them again as though seeing them for the first time! Thank You for showing me how to have peace, and for being close at all times. Please help me to continue blessing others along the way! In Jesus' name...