The Cure for the Common Baggage

It's been an interesting few weeks with some ups and a whole lot of downs for myself and some of my good friends.  Mostly, I sense some inner conflict in myself and others which can be a very positive sign of growth.  In my Bible reading today, I read about Saul, who was the first king of Israel that was chosen by God.  

Saul's Perspective:

It seems that Saul's life consisted of working for his dad until one day, a few donkeys wandered away from Kish's territory, so he sent Saul and one of his servants out to look for the donkeys.  They searched everywhere, but couldn't find them, so Saul told his servant that they'd better go home because his father would be more worried about him than the donkeys at this point.  His servant realized that Samuel the prophet was in the same town that they just happened to be in, and talked Saul into going to ask him about the donkeys.  So this was just a day in the life of Saul, and he just 'happened' to have a meeting with Samuel about a couple of donkeys. (1 Samuel 9:3-13)

Samuels Perspective:

Twenty four hours before Samuel met Saul, God told him that He would send him a man from the tribe of Benjamin to anoint as king of Israel. As soon as Samuel saw Saul coming to ask him about the donkeys, God told him that Saul was the one.  He asked Saul to eat with him and stay the night, and reassured him that the donkeys were OK, adding that Saul was now the owner of all the wealth of Israel, anyway. (1 Samuel 9:14-20)

The Secret:

After Saul was given the place of honor at Samuel's feast, they went to a roof top to talk privately.  In the morning, Samuel walked with Saul and anointed his head with olive oil, telling him that the Lord had appointed him the king of His people - all Israel!!  Wow, great things were going to happen.  Saul must have been on cloud nine, right?

Where it Gets Sticky:

Kish, Saul's dad, was a rich, influential man from the tribe of Benjamin.  Saul, himself, was the most handsome man in all of Israel, and was head and shoulders taller than anyone else in the land, according to 1Samuel 9:1,2.

When Samuel told Saul that he now owned all the wealth of Israel, Saul replied by telling him that he was from the little tribe of Benjamin and his family was the least important of all the families in his tribe.  He argued that Samuel must have the wrong man. (1 Samuel 9:21)  Was it the truth?  Well, part of it was - he was from the tribe of Benjamin, but his father was a very rich and influential man.  I don't know if it was fear or modesty causing Saul to step back from the prophet's pronouncement.  If it was fear, I can certainly relate!!

Saul received Samuel's words when he sent him on his way, and God's spirit was with Saul.  Everything Samuel had prophesied came true that day.  When he came home, he was a different man.  His uncle asked him where he had been.  Saul told him all about meeting Samuel and how Samuel told him the donkeys had been found, but he didn't tell his uncle that he had been anointed as king. (1 Samuel 10:9-16)  More fear?  Maybe.

Then Samuel gathered all the tribal leaders together to announce that God was giving them a king, and the tribe of Benjamin was chosen by a sacred lot.  Then he narrowed it down to Saul's family, and finally to Saul, himself. (1 Samuel 10:17 - 20) Saul's moment had come.  

I can imagine everyone but Samuel and Saul on the edge of their seat to find out who the Lord had chosen for their king.  As the sacred lot revealed more and more, Samuel could watch with patience and confidence- smiling, even- as the secret he already knew was becoming evident to all of Israel. For Saul, it might have been frightening and awe inspiring to see the sacred lots consistently pointing to him as the sovereign of Israel. Finally, it was clear that Saul would be the king! As soon as God's choice was ultimately revealed, all eyes were on Saul, or would have been if they could find him.

        So they asked the Lord, "Where is he? Is he here among us?"

        And the Lord replied,"He is hiding in the baggage." (1 Sam 10:22 TLB)  Definitely fear, here!

My Perspective:

So this whole passage really hit home to me.  As I wrote in a previous post, I am learning to just be faithful through whatever comes.  When I am at my lowest, I can still ask God to help me remain faithful to what I understand about His will and His purpose for my life.  Last week, I thought I had turned a real spiritual corner and was raring to get on with a more victorious life.  That's when the worst flu I have ever had hit me. I had a high fever, congestion and every cell of my body ached.  I spent 72 hours lying low, unable to sleep because of chills and aches, stacking the covers up on myself at night, only to rip them off one by one as the medicine lowered my fever.  Coughing produced a razor blade-like feeling in my lungs and throat. My esophagus hurt so much from the coughing that I kept taking antacids for the burning (they didn't help), and the pressure of my coughing fits actually burst blood vessels in my eyes.  I dragged myself to the sink in the kitchen on the third day and stared out the window, discouraged beyond tears and doubting my worth, which was an incredibly dark and empty place to find myself.  Where was the excitement and  peace I had experienced when I felt the Lord so close just a few days and weeks before and why, after I had just come to a place of personal victory had I been cut off at the knees?  

A Young Man's Perspective:

We drove toward the ocean, not knowing where we would end up.  His music was playing in the car and we were lost in pleasant conversation.  Twisting and winding on Route 1, we imagined life in the mansions that were sprawled out over immaculate lawns.  He spoke of his inner conflicts and the uncertainty of his future, weighing pros and cons of each potential choice.  In day to day conversation, I am able to be the most 'real' with him, speaking verses to him when appropriate and gently urging him to rely on the Lord for his answers.  He finally verbally expressed what so many of us feel in our Christian walk, but would never dream of exposing to others:  Why do I always get so close to the Lord and then just walk away, time after time, year after year? If I already know I'm going to fail, aren't I a hypocrite to once again draw close to God?  It never lasts! His teenage conclusion is that it would be better to lie low and plod along the way things are without attempting anything for the Lord anymore.  He doesn't trust himself to be faithful.

My Friend's Perspective:

She is a giving and loving person, who will go out of her way to share what she has with others, including reaching out to people she doesn't even know with the love of God.  She has been on fire for the Lord, finding Him more and more real and alive in her heart in the past few months. She wrote to me the other day, saying she was discouraged, fearful, empty and couldn't sense that the Lord with her at all.  

Are We All Really That Fickle?

Are we alone in this - I mean, really?  Sure, some Christians might want to tsk-tsk us and satisfy their own sense of maturity, but I think this pattern is all too familiar for many of us.  If we verbally admit to these ups and downs, we risk feeling like the only one in the room with 'problems'.  I think most of us spend a whole lot of time pretending.  Yes, there is that underlying peace and confidence that God is our Father - for true Christians that truth will never really be shaken. If there are fleeting thoughts of doubt, God always brings us back to His promises, but there are empty, black moments that creep up on all of us out of the blue, leaving us feeling non-committal, ugly and bleak.  It's that fickle feeling in my own heart that makes me think  I'm unfit for God's purposes and plan for my life. This is where the enemy befriends me, agreeing with me that I will never follow through and warning that God sees right through me.  Oh, and it's not just my relationship with God - it's the failed promises I've made to myself, others and the Lord that keep me from moving forward.  Pretty soon, I'm convinced like so many others that it might be better to stop trying because I already know I won't follow through. 

Hiding in the Baggage:

How in the world did the three of us find ourselves hiding in the baggage after God showed so clearly that He was with us and has an amazing path laid out for us to walk with Him?  Fear certainly has it's own ugly part in the process.  I don't think it's the fear that God will let us down.  I think it's more the sick feeling that we will let Him down. This is the contents of our baggage - our own disappointment and mistrust of ourselves.  It trips us up and not only blocks other people's view of God's work in our lives, it blocks our view of the Lord's plan.  When we look for shelter in the baggage, it alters our perspective until the baggage is all we can see.

The Rest of the Story

Well, of course, God knew where Saul was.  He told the tribal leaders and they went and brought him out.  I love that they just dragged him out of hiding and then shouted, "Long live the king!", as though it was the most normal thing to have your fearless leader and king hiding among the 'stuff' (KJV).  I want to be the kind of friend that grabs a loved one from their baggage and helps them march on to their potential, right as rain, as though they weren't just flat on their face.  Saul went on to be a mighty warrior and king and led the Israelites into many victories.  In the end, though, he relied on his own wisdom over God's and his reign ended tragically.  Saul's is a human story.

It's normal to be human.  God knows we are weak.  I am learning that there are two ingredients in the recipe for success in my own Christian walk.  If I cling to those two things, I can look at my past successes, through my failures and all the way into eternity, knowing that God is sufficient for my life.  The first ingredient is faith.  Without faith it is impossible to please God (Heb 11:6).  Faith in Jesus' sacrifice and His promises will get me through anything - and I mean anything - that I will ever have to face in this life.  Faith will lead me into eternity.  Faith in a trustworthy God leads to faithfulness in me.  The second ingredient is grace. It's a given - I will falter, and God's grace will absolve me from all my guilt and self-recrimination, allowing me to put the past in the past, even if the past was just yesterday.  When I fail, grace covers my failures and removes all the baggage that goes along with it.  I only need to trust in God's amazing grace as I did when grace made me right with my Heavenly Father in the first place!

Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.

Faith and Grace: The cure for the common baggage!

Dear Heavenly Father,

You know we all hurt sometimes.  Thank You for reaching down to us when we are scattered, fearful and empty.  Please remind us during our down times that we don't need to beat ourselves up for failing you again and again, because your word says "Faithful is He who has called you, who also will do it" (1 Thess 5:24).  Help us to simply be willing to let you work in us and through us, focusing only on You and Your faithfulness and grace.   When You lead us to our friends who are bogged down and hiding among their own stuff, give us courage and compassion to help them get back on their feet without being harsh or judgemental.  Thank You for your patience and love!  In Jesus' name...