Healing!

It has been quite a journey in sharing my testimony for the first time like this!  I am so blessed to be encouraged by those of you who have read and urged me to finish what I started.  Thank you so much!  "Meme" posted a comment at the end of my testimony, wrapping her arms around me in prayer.  That is my desire for each and every person who seeks comfort and direction from our Father!

As I brought the history of my journey to the Lord each time I sat to write, I asked Him to give me the right words to show other hurting people the way to healing.  Yes, there were times I reflected on some of the points illuminated in my posts and wondered, with a heavy sigh, how in the world a scraped and tattered person like me could be a vessel for the Master's use.  The answer always came when the glory of my salvation, both earthly and heavenly, was solely evident in the amazing and unspeakable love of the Lord Jesus.

My story isn't mine, and your story isn't yours.  If you have made positive and wonderful choices in the Lord for most of your life - that's His story, and His alone!  If you, like me, strayed, worshipping in the idol of "self", running headlong into the darkness before He gathered you once again in His arms to carry you back home  - that's also His story, and His alone! There is no true testimony without God being the One who has guided and completed the work He began, as the Author and Finisher of our faith. No matter how good or how bad we may think we, or our lives have been, all the glory belongs to Him!  For who makes you differ from another? And what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?   (I Corinthians 4:7 NKJV )  I am so thankful that we, as believers, will one day throw our crowns at His feet in Glory, because each and every story of every Christian is one of immeasurable love and grace!

So, yes, Meme, many of my posts were difficult and some of the memories were painful, but there is joy looking back, as the sustaining and deep Christian love of my foster family were woven through all the twists and turns - a true gift from the Lord.  There is awe and wonder at His mercy and love, forgiving me seventy times seven.  Peace wells up as I can look back and remember that He took all of my shame and guilt on Himself at the cross.  The desire to produce much fruit comes as I reflect on the ways my foster family sheltered, prayed, and planted love in the hearts of me and countless others! All of these beautiful results of His grace shine through the fog of past hurts and sins.

More than anything, there is a purpose and a plan for each of us, and the opportunity to share what the Lord has done in my life spurs me on to love more, to reach out more, and to allow Him to use me as He repays the "years the locusts have eaten".  If you are looking around at the desolation of your life, it doesn't have to stay that way.  You may not feel you have enough strength to work toward something better.  If you know the task is too much for you, then you're ready.  You don't have enough strength to change, but He has more than enough for both of you!  It is only when you give up that huge, ugly, heavy burden of 'being good enough' to God, that you can make real progress.  Let it go.  All you have to do is put it down and begin walking hand in hand with Him on the rest of your journey.

I wrote a poem years ago (ok, bear with me here - I was young).  It's called:

The Locust Years

Driving one morning for coffee and quiet,
Dad's home with the kids, supervising the riot.
A weary young mother turns on the radio station,
And hears a pastor's words to his "on-air" congregation.
He speaks of the pain and the suffering heart,
Of those who sought God, then chose to depart.
He called them The Locust Years from Joel, in the Word,
Israel was desolate because they had forgotten the Lord.
The country was barren without wheat, barley or hay,
"Surely the joy of mankind had withered away."

She remembers her own years when in darkness she cried,
Tears of rebellion and drunkenness, hatred and pride.
Each new path she chose tore her out of His grasp,
Til His hand touched her heart through her newborn's tiny clasp.

The words filter through as the preacher explains,
"Return unto Me and I'll bring springtime rains.'
'I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten",
Yes, He'd mended her life, though so bruised and beaten.
Her own Locust Years left her heart as a desert,
Then He rained drops of sweet love when she gave Him her heart.

A blossom sprang forth, then a vine and a tree!
Soon a garden of life around her bloomed fragrantly!

Heading home, she found strength for her body and soul,
Life is just as it should be when we give God control.  Elizabeth  1993

Dear Father, 
Please use me as You see fit.  May I always remember that I am Yours.  Thank you for leaving the "99", so you could find me and bring back this little black sheep to Your fold.  Thank You for Your promises in Isaiah (58:11)

The LORD will guide you continually,
                     And satisfy your soul in drought,
                     And strengthen your bones;
                     You shall be like a watered garden,
                     And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.
                                                                                      In Jesus' name...